As usual (and somehow, how every single blog post begins), I’ve been scarce. I’m not sorry. Managing a blog is basically like managing a baby, and I’m the Mom who forgets her baby in a Ford Kuga.
Lord have mercy.
In an attempt to revive my writing spirit (as opposed to my think, keep thinking, overthink, continue to think, don’t stop thinking routine), here’s a little flashback from the morning of November 9th (narrated in a Morgan Freeman voice, obviously).
That morning, I found myself in a frantic check-your-phone-every-5-seconds stage episode in between dropping my sisters off at school, succumbing to disgusting Johannesburg traffic, and fighting my Starbucks craving. I was halfway through having a panic attack, on the verge of having an epileptic fit, and tumbling down a Type-A racist hill. This eventually, obviously (and all-too conveniently)
threw drowned me in the River Trump. I sat in my car and cried. Total. Bloody. Confusion.
The US elections had metamorphosed into a horrifying admission that a seventy year old racist, misogynistic, white-supremacist now stood between every single person’s future. Every person? Yes.
Let me break down how, through executive orders signed within the first 100 days in office, the Trump administration aims to stand in your way, my way, and in the way of progressive human and social development – basically life itself.
- Citizens from Iran, Iraq, Libya, Somalia, Sudan, Syria and Yemen need to stay in their American-induced comatose, poverty-ridden, economic morgues.
- Dual nationality? Congratulations. You’ve now been reduced nationalistic individuality like the rest of us.
- Passports from more than one country? Stop stamping the shiz our of your documents. Go and visit your local home affairs, embassy, or social security centre. You’re a sitting duck.
- Refugees around the world. The refugee programme has been suspended, but if you’re a part of the 800 refugees in “transit” as the US administration kindly words it, your product/ service is okay for now. If you’re on an undisclosed boat, car, or floaty in the ocean, soz.
- Green card holder? The robot’s just turned red. Although not explicitly stated within executive orders signed, legal residents of the United States face deportation.
- Travelers – frequent or not. Interviews (interrogations – let’s be real) are now mandatory for every traveler entering or leaving the United States.
- Oil. Environments. People. The earth was meant to be used. Money needs to be made. Can all the hippies stop attempting to stop oil pipelines from being built?
Slides hypothetical Hijab slightly off head to reveal hair.
I’ll just leave this here for you to read again.
One more thing:
If you’re wondering which ant mound housed the hundreds of thousands on Americans who voted for Donald Trump, we’re in the same boat. Yes, the boat probably filled with brown-skinned, opportunity-seeking, racism-fleeing humans.
Tune in next week, when I’ll be discussing the radicalisation of whites.
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